Frozen Peas

Drugs

Frozen Peas — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:00:03 +0000

I don’t know much about drugs. I don’t know the difference between an 8-ball, an ounce, a dimebag, or a blue waffle. I have no idea what kind of drugs these are. They smell a bit like alfalfa.

After taking them, I went to a movie with a friend. It was a craaaaazy night. The trouble is that now I’m jonesing for a hit but don’t know what of.

Deven’s math test

Frozen Peas — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 07:45:56 +0000

Deven did well on this math test. But look at the dirty trick they pulled on question #2… poor Deven got sucked right in to the ol’ switcheroo and ended up with a crummy 94%.

Hang in there, Deven. Life is full of crap like that.

Bad movie case

Frozen Peas — Mon, 31 May 2010 16:00:05 +0000

There is a horrible trend going on right now. That horrible trend is vampire fanfare. The worst part of this horrible trend is stupid books and movies featuring brooding teens with sleepy facial expressions.

Finding this movie case made my skin crawl, not because I picked it up off the ground but because it is for one of these trendy, stupid movies about unoriginal, angst filled, teenage vampires. I fear that the owner was just so excited to watch the movie that the case was thrown aside as the DVD was thrown into the nearest DVD player. But I hope that it was a gift from a clueless soul and that the DVD was disposed of somewhere else.

Dirty panda bear

Frozen Peas — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 04:10:32 +0000

The panda bear is best known for getting frightened by a baby panda’s sneeze, and for taking its frustration out on a tree branch. What most people don’t know is that the panda’s diet is 99% bamboo, which is amazing.

I have never cuddled a real panda bear but would love to. I cuddled this one; a little dirt doesn’t bother me.

Checklist for new house

Frozen Peas — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:00:47 +0000

This new house owner had seven things to take care of… and managed to get the most frustrating one out of the way before losing the list. The rest of the items are pretty simple and were probably remembered later.

And check out that last list item as a reward for finishing the list. I can’t think of a better way to be welcomed into a new house.

Disturbed kid’s homework

Frozen Peas — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 15:00:41 +0000

Drawings of violence, aliens, weapons, and body modification were not part of this student’s assignment but should probably be given due attention. I wonder if he had planned on handing this in.

Blackberry phone

Frozen Peas — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 15:00:37 +0000

My cell phone finds have entered the modern age. The media has annoyingly been referring to these as “smart phones”. (Media: please stop calling them that, and stop calling snow “the white stuff”)

I’ve never used a Blackberry… this is actually the first one I’ve even held. I don’t really care for it. The buttons are small, I don’t like the trackball, the screen is cracked, and it won’t make outgoing calls. I guess it would maybe just take some getting used to.

Finger boob card

Frozen Peas — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:00:15 +0000

I hope Dawn has a sense of humour because Auntie Debbie sure does. I also hope Dawn is beyond an age where something like this might be traumatizing.

It’s kind of a funny card. However, the breasts look pretty fake. I for one have yet to see breasts with guitar string callouses on them. Perhaps I’m just inexperienced.

I hope you had a lovely birthday, Dawn. I can only imagine what it was like when Uncle presented the cake.

Baby bottle

Frozen Peas — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 16:25:12 +0000

I found this baby bottle on the sidewalk by work. In the distance, a baby cried. Talk about distracting.

The baby bottle holds 236mL, which is perfect because that’s the size of one of those little cans of soda pop.

Combo lock

Frozen Peas — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:30:07 +0000

This lock was found closed and locked. I thought I would try ten combinations each day until I got it open. I started at 001. That wasn’t it. Then I tried 002. That wasn’t it either. By this point, I was already losing hope.

My friend Mark got into it within a few minutes. The combination was 432. That would have taken a while with my method.