This “Detective Special” looks like a .38 super-stub nose. It was made in China and apparently not strong enough to withstand a good pistol-whipping.

I was going to play with it but the trigger’s spring is shot. Other than that, it’s perfect.

This beautiful purse was lying on the road in front of City Hall. I risked life and limb to snatch it from the stream of rush hour traffic.

It has no brand markings but it must be of high-quality. It is made of white vinyl, and what I’m sure is pure gold. It also features a zippered compartment that is suitable for storing things.

I was hoping it would be stuffed full of cash. I know it’s wrong but because it was empty I almost resent the woman whose hand I pried it from.

I found this key on the way to work. It’s a Sargent — good make, good make. I imagine someone is wondering what happened to it. I’ll keep trying doors near where I found it.

This was lying in front of the detox centre, next to a bush. I am not sure how things work in detox but this item may be contraband. I found only one card. If the rotary phone behind this secretary is any indication, the rest of the deck is just as titillating. Hold my calls, please.